Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
