The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
