it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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