just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
