then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Your penis caused this!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
