Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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