so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
