ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
