i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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