apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
