I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am midnight drunk by noon
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
