Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
