Already got asked if we're dating
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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