She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize