well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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