return my video game
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My liver just broke up with me...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
