I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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