every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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