His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
