trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
