She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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