I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
