He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
