I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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