Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I need a beard to bite.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
