Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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