He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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