Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
