We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
