I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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