you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize