you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
