So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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