Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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