I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
