Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
