I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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