wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
