Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize