Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
