..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
