Where are you?
In a non slutty way
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
