U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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