I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
