and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
