How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
