but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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