69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Randomize
