We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
