That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
