ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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