Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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