sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
