it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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