I think im going to throw up on grandma
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
