I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
