She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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