Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
