Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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