I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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