You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
