I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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