I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
