just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
