Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
