Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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