if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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